July 15, 2009

Sorting through reams of paper each day means peeking into hundreds of people’s personal lives.

Names I’ve seen while working at a law office that I’m glad aren’t mine - first name “North,” last names “O’Crotty,” “Christ” (first initial was a J., no lie), “Pig,” and, by far the worst, “Hymen.”  Yep, spelled that way, too.

The person with the unfortunate last name “Hymen” was a woman, which led me to two conclusions:

1.  She’s single, and needs to drop everything and make marrying anybody with a better last name a priority, or

2.  She’s married, and out of some sick sense of traditionalism she felt an obligation to change her name to match her husband’s.

On a side note, would you ever date a guy seriously with the last name “Hymen”?  What about your poor potential kids?  Calling attendance would be a constant source of shame…introductions during a job interview less-than-awesome.  Ewww.  You know how last names supposedly reflect professions/qualities of our ancestors?  I wonder what her family was like…