EVERYBODY POOPS.
i offer nothing but the uncertain promise
to honestly pursue the crooked path of the conscious
Sorting through reams of paper each day means peeking into hundreds of people’s personal lives.
Names I’ve seen while working at a law office that I’m glad aren’t mine - first name “North,” last names “O’Crotty,” “Christ” (first initial was a J., no lie), “Pig,” and, by far the worst, “Hymen.” Yep, spelled that way, too.
The person with the unfortunate last name “Hymen” was a woman, which led me to two conclusions:
1. She’s single, and needs to drop everything and make marrying anybody with a better last name a priority, or
2. She’s married, and out of some sick sense of traditionalism she felt an obligation to change her name to match her husband’s.
On a side note, would you ever date a guy seriously with the last name “Hymen”? What about your poor potential kids? Calling attendance would be a constant source of shame…introductions during a job interview less-than-awesome. Ewww. You know how last names supposedly reflect professions/qualities of our ancestors? I wonder what her family was like…
2 years ago • Notes
2.3 billion years…
…is apparently how long the earth has before the sun fries it, according to TIME. That’s 1 billion more revolutions than was previously predicted.
When I first read this, I was oddly comforted about our increased permanence. Then I did a mental double-take - what reason did I have to be so relieved? It’s not like I’m going to be around to be feel the difference.
When people ask each other, “would you ever want to live forever?” I always consider the proposition in chunks of hundreds, maybe thousands of years tops. But billions? That length of time is bursting with get-me-outta-here.
2 years ago • NotesBrian Andreas
This is definitely how I feel right now, due to an essay, and usually, due to life.
2 years ago • Notes“Heartbeats,” by Jose Gonzalez
Sometimes, when I’m walking alone at night with my headphones on, a song will play that comforts my heart, like a warmth filling the left side of my chest. I love that.
Other tracks on the “soundtrack of my life,” as they say (in no particular order):
- Fever Dream, by Iron and Wine
- I Feel it All, by Feist
- Burnt Offering, by Blue Scholars
- The Wolves (Act I and II), by Bon Iver
- Close to Me, by The Cure
- Carry You, by Dispatch
- Little Garcon, by Born Ruffians (gotta be real, probs playing this one at my wedding [just so a roomful of little old Chinese ladies can go indie])
God, just typing this up got me a bit emotional. Amazing how a bunch of sounds thrown together can end up meaning so much to me.
2 years ago • 0 notes